I have kept this snippet from somewhere, but I don’t recall where !! Tongland Bridge is the Telford Bridge and the Auld Bridge is on the Rhonehouse road behind Smith’s Fencing.
The Twa Brigs.
Tongland Brig – “Weel, auld frien’, the burn’s rinnin’ heavy the night, eh?”
Auld Brig – “It is that, noo! I doot there’s swa’ up bye for these auld props o’ mine are cauld as a kirkyaird stane.”
Tongland Brig – “Aye! Cauld’s no’ the name for’t. I feel it a wee mysel’, forbye, ye mon min’ I ha’e the sa’t watter to contend wi’ as weel’s the fresh. Faith atween the twa o’ them I get a gie sair chill whiles. I aye keep cheery, tho’! Last nicht, noo, was snell but I had three couples snuggled up in my shelter, and, what atween laughin’ at their capers and chucklin’ at their blethers I sune got het up!”
Auld Brig – “I get thae folks too. They never think we can hear them. The burn makes sic a row they speak looder an’ then the wun’ lowes a wee and – mony a guid lauch I get!”
Tongland Brig – “Lauch! haud yer wheesht, frien’! Mony a douce, sober couple dander ower me noo that ha’e kittled and kissed in their daft days like minnies! A’ they ta’k aboot noo is something they ca’ ‘The cost o’ leevin’!!” They’re no’ muckle fun!”
Auld Brig – “Ony heid yins up lately? ‘E ken, Bailies an’ that! They folks that rin the toon up bye!”
Tongland Brig – “Rin the toon! Och! they work hard, the buddies, an’ they’re weel meanin’ onyway! Twa were here last nicht and here’s news for you: – That wire fitpath up at Castlesod’s to be pu’ed doon and a bigger yin bigged.” What d’ya think they’ll dae wi’ the bird cage?”
Auld Brig – “Pit it in the museum likely! By! that’s news! Pull it doon! An’ no’ before its time either! D’ye min’ what I said when they built it? It w’udna’ carry a pram! Its a wunner they dinna make it solid like us. Whether the traction engines were on the road or no, then, I canna min’, but it’s a queer thing that wee auld stane brigs had to do a’ the heavy work!”
Tongland Brig – “Heavy work! Mony a sair croon I’ve had wi’ these rummlin’ monsters! But we were aye fit for the job! The folks who put in oor keystanes kent their jobs!”
Auld Brig – “A brig’s no a brig wi’oot a keystane, an’ they tell me these iron anes hae nane!”
Tongland Brig – “This muckle lump beside us that they ca’ a viaduct has nane that I can see. It’s no’ built as any self-respectin’ brig should be built! There’s no line aboot it – no poetry, that’s what a poet chap said the ither nicht to a lass!”
Auld Brig – “What did she say?”
Tongland Brig – ” ‘Oh! George dear! That’s only a railway bridge!’ She was verra Englified. They’re gie subtle the wimmin folk, eh! She meant that there’s a difference atween a brig an’ a bridge!”
Auld Brig – “Aye! they’re gie maitter o’ fact. Ane never kens what’s in their noddles! They never tak’ their lads tak’ their lads to ane o’ these iron bridges to ha’e their carry-ons.”
Tongland Brig – “Little wunner either! The wun’ whustles through them like a dizzen deils, an’, forbye – they’ve got lamps on them!”
Auld Brig – “What in the world ha’e they got lamps for?!
Tongland Brig – “Oh! there’s only ane or twa. They’re gie sparin’ wi’ their lichts in the toon. They’re to keep folk frae walkin’ through the spokes!”
Auld Brig – “Weel! let’s hope it can tak’ its share o’ the heavy traffic. If they wull build iron bridges let them build them big enouch!”
Tongland Brig – “Mair work for us auld anes. That road’s to be closed for a wheen months they say. Wheest! here’s a couple o’ bailies comin’. I want to hear their crack! Guid nicht!”
Auld Brig – “”Och! Bailies! Gi’e me couples; they’re far mair interesting!”